But Alive

It came back, my creative fire. I don’t mean the fire that strikes when I sit down to write, that’s more like a spark. This is a feel-it-in-your-gut, burning-desire kind of creative fire. And, all it took was one little offer to work on a project that sounds both crazy and amazing, with six people I know and love, and about 50 more who I will soon meet.

For the next five-and-a-half months, the job will keep me up at night with worry, make me anxious during the day, have me triple-checking my work for any screw-ups and won’t let me have much of a life outside of work. But I will be miserably, sickeningly, happy and proud. Proud that I got back up, back in, and am starting over again, but not from the perspective of a 22-year-old who doesn’t know what to expect. This time, I am a wizened 27-year-old, with many character-building moments under my belt and a confidence I most definitely did not possess at 22. A friend once told me, “you know you’re doing the right thing with your life when you feel equal parts excited and scared to do it. If you don’t have that feeling, then it’s not worth doing.” I feel it, and I am sooo ready.

And I so totally feel all of these things:

btw, vid is seriously campy, so close your eyes while you listen or you can keep them open for a good laugh.

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