Blocked

Writing every day isn’t easy. I never seem to have a hard time doing it for money or deadlines, but when it’s for me, it’s easy to get blocked. Last summer I took a writing workshop that cleared my mind of the mental torments associated with writing. The “you’re never good enough”s and “that sentence is super awkward, are you going to leave it there?” were finally silenced. It was an amazing experience to feel free and able to let my mind and words fall in sync while my brain operated between that plane and a daydream-like state. The problem is, a year later, it’s hard to duplicate this feeling. Not impossible. It just takes longer. A lot longer. It’s almost as if a yearly tune up workshop is required.

Since I can’t go back to the course, I’m going to try something we were required to do there: write on paper. For the next few days, I’m going to handwrite my posts. Then, I’ll either scan or transcribe them (depending on if I can get my scanner to work or not). There’s something to be said about writing on paper vs. computer. It’s harder to delete what you don’t like on paper. It’s more permanent. Editing is also different as well. You choose your words more carefully when you first start. Then, slowly, you begin to lose your inhibitions — sort of like a newbie at a nudist colony — and let it all hang out. I’m curious to see how this will go. Looking back at my writing from the workshop, everything on paper tended to be more personal, which seems to be a side effect of the physical act of writing. I wonder where it will take me this time.

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