Baby Mama, Movie Theater Drama

After seeing the very funny movie, “Baby Mama,” last night, I was afraid I’d leave the theater pining for a kid of my own. Luckily, my seat mates quickly squashed that fear when, throughout the entire movie, I was told by them to hold their toy, their sippy cup and was asked “Hi?” as if it were a question that demanded a response. Yes, I had to sit next to three children, who seemed to be between the ages of three and five — the theater was packed. The movie was an hour and 40 minutes long. All three children had bladders that seemed to only hold ten minutes worth of liquids. Their attention spans were just as small. While watching Tina Fey try her hardest to create a human being of her very own, I was also treated to a car crash along the arm of my seat, courtesy of Jayden, the four-year-old sitting next to me. When his parents finally deemed him “unruly enough” to sit next to a stranger, they switched him out with his three-year-old sister, Destiny, who was quietly brushing her doll’s hair. I settled back into the movie, babies floated before the screen, there were laugh out loud montages of Amy Poehler having to swallow a giant pre-natal vitamin. After a little while, I realized I was being watched by Destiny. I tried to shake it off, but couldn’t. Finally, I turned and stared right back at her. “Isn’t my doll’s hair shiny,” she asked. (Might I remind you, we’re in a dark movie theater.) I made the HUGE mistake of answering her with, “yes, it is,” before turning away. This opened up the floodgates for conversation. “Want to see me dance?” Destiny asked me.

“No.”

“Well, I’m gonna go to dance up there and you’re gonna watch me.”

Next thing I know, Destiny has climbed over the seat and skipped in front of the theater and starts to dance to the music from the movie. I can’t believe it! I look over at her parents, hoping to make eye contact, but clearly, since they’re sitting next to each other and not their children, they can enjoy the movie and let everyone else act as their babysitter.

The song ends as the club scene in the movie fades into a more serious one with Kate (Tina Fey) and Rob (Greg Kinnear) discussing children. Kate kisses Rob. Destiny observes this from the front row where she found some poor sap guy and his girlfriend to hold her doll, while she watched the movie. “Ohhh,” squeals Destiny as she watches them kiss, “they’re gonna make a baby together!”

And as funny as “Baby Mama” is, as insistent as the critics are that somewhere in the movie lay political, social and economic struggles and feminist underpinnings (which there are), it clearly isn’t clever enough to be surprising, even for a three-year-old.

P.S. The word “Baby” might be in the title, but mamas & dads, should really leave their under-13 kiddies home when they go to see this movie. I admit it, the poster looks fun and kid-friendly with colorful building blocks, a Slurpee cup and two funny ladies, but “Baby Mama,” is PG-13, not PG-3.

Up on the Roof & Down in the Temple

The roof of the Metropolitan Museum of Art is one of the least touristy parts of the museum, namely becausetourists don’t realize that as New Yorkers, we utilize every available inch of space — even in a museum. Right now the Iris and B. Gerald Cantor Roof Garden is holding an exhibition called “Jeff Koons on the Roof.” This past Friday I headed uptown and walked across park to meet a friend for drinks & to check out the giant “balloon dog.” Though we expected the roof to be packed, it was filled with a surprisingly mixed crowd of people: young and old, post-work, pre-dinner crowd. The art lovers, the downtownies, uptownies and even the borough people. It was really amusing to stand with a glass of wine in the setting sun, surrounded by a 360 degree view of Manhattan and a sea of people to watch. After an hour of taking in the views and conversations and lamenting on the future of a publishing house, my friend and I headed down to theTemple of Dendur, before heading further uptown to dinner at Sarabeth’s.

The temple, which is housed in the Sackler wing, is one of my favorite rooms in the museum. My first memory of the temple room was when my mother took my sister and I to the Met. I was ten and my sister was six years old. Every time we went to the Met, we were treated to a new “wing” or period of art. That particular dreary March day, my mother decided we were ready to tackle the Egyptian art. Two hours later, after reading almost every placard, gazing at every vase, piece of jewelry and mummy, we finally worked out way to the temple. Weighed down by two very cranky, hungry, thirsty children, my mother was determined to get us through that one last room. As tantrums set in, she told us, “if you don’t see this temple today, you won’t be able to ever see it again. It’s a temporary exhibition.” Even then, I was never one to miss an opportunity, so I reluctantly agreed. My sister agreed after being bribed with the promise of candy. That day, we spent an hour at the Temple of Dendur, my mom reading every card, fact and date out loud to us. She set the scene visually, making us imagine the Egyptians visiting the temple, and later, more mischievous visitors adding their graffiti in 1908 and again in 1921. Though I might not have enjoyed that first visit outwardly, I always remember it every time I visit the room today. And in case you didn’t pick up on that, the temple is still there, 16 years later. Which only proves that mothers can be very good in the art of lying to their children.

The Pop Wears Prada

The question on my brain and the answer from London’s Daily Mail:

Why the Pope Wears Red Shoes

“Benedict XVI’s red loafers have drawn attention since he became Pope in 2005.

Dubbed the “Prada Pope” after the maker of the shoes, Benedict has been seen wearing the ruby red shoes during his trips and other important events.

The loafers are seen as a statement of his desire to demonstrate continuity with the symbols and history of the Church.

His predecessor, Pope John Paul II, wore brown shoes, which stood out. Though wearing red shoes is a papal tradition, the practice is optional.

Theology Professor Lawrence Cunningham of Notre Dame, in a podcast for NPR.org, said the Pope’s red shoes symbolize the blood of martyrdom.

“Traditionally, in the Catholic Church, the color red commemorates the blood of martyrdom … Fire and red are identified with the Holy Spirit,” Cunnigham said.

The shoes cost around $640 a pair, but the Pope gets them for free.”

P.S. The watch is Cartier.